undeadfanstoriesfandomcom-20200214-history
Anguish
This is Chapter Twenty Nine of Danganronpa: Anguish & Desire, Nickel Time!. In this chapter, Ken talks to some people and some shit happens ayy. Author's Note: dead wiki is still dead i'm sad :( ---- Saishi paces back and forth in my room, sweat dripping from his forehead. His glasses are missing, his collared shirt is undone, and Ko-chan tries to calm him. She holds tightly onto Saishi’s wrist, and he practically drags her around the room. He pleads with her. “It’s her! It has to be! We have to get her back--!” “There’s nothing we can do,” Satoshi says, from beside me. “At least not until we have more information.” “But Sasada’s missing--! Where could she have gone--?!” I press my knees to my chest. This is all my fault. Sasada’s been missing for three days now, and the last person to see her was Shiomi, who saw her leaving my room. She was supposed to just go to help Tsumiki-senpai at the nurse’s office, but she said Sasada never showed. Why…? “The school isn’t doing anything about it!” Saishi exclaims. “Are we supposed to just sit here--?! She could be hurt!” “I know how you feel, but Shuji--!” Ko-chan’s pleads go unnoticed and he pulls himself from her grasp. Saishi is stronger than he realizes, and the force at which he pulls himself away from Ko-chan sends her crashing to the floor. I find myself quickly jumping to her side. “Ko-chan…!” She only waves me off, and pushes her black hair out from in front of her face. “I’m fine.” “Saishi, please,” I plead, scooting in front of her, placing a hand on her knee. I try to make myself as big as possible as Saishi’s gaze falls on me, but I honestly feel myself shrinking. “Leave it to Nakata and Izu-chan, okay?” Saishi stands frozen still for a moment, his eyes wide, as if he just realized what he’s done. “Class rep--! I hurt you--I’m so sorry…” Ko-chan just shakes her head, and her small frame shakes slightly -- Satoshi and Shiomi, who were sitting upon my bed earlier, try to steady her. “It’s okay, Shuji. We’ll get Ukon back, I promise.” He nods. “I can’t lose her...I can’t lose anyone else.” I rise and gently place my hand on his shoulder. “I promise, Saishi. She’ll be okay. I’ll make sure of it.” He hastily places his hand over mine. “Thank you, Kijmuta. I shall trust in you.” I wake that morning from a nightmare. I don’t know what it was about, or more specifically, who it was about, but it left me sweating with a deep ache in my chest. It hurts. It hurts so bad. My eyes fall onto my clock, it’s five-thirty in the morning, so I still have about two hours until the morning meeting. I doubt anyone else is awake at this time, so there’s nothing to do but recall yesterday’s activities… We spent the entire day tearing the school apart looking for the five digit code that would get lead us out of the school, but, we couldn’t find anything. Literally, nothing. No code, no clues to where we are, nothing about who trapped us in here...it’s as if we were taken by ghosts. ... We weren’t taken by ghosts, were we? I shake the thought from my mind. That’s not possible. Nope. My mind travels from that, to...everything else that happened yesterday. While we were searching for the code, I found her in front of Shiomi’s door, talking to Nakamoto, Azama, and Shiomi about...something. I don’t remember what, or if I even heard what they were talking about, but after talking to Tomori and Rai, I had some confidence. Not much, but just enough to approach her. “Yo, Ken-chi.” Nakamoto had noticed me first, and I nodded in response. “Hi, Nakamoto. Find anything?” He shook his head, as Shiomi turned to me. He simply frowns. “Ken...you look so tired. If I had to describe your face with a song title, it’d be…” Nakamoto narrows his eyes. “Really, Shiomi-chi?” Shiomi chokes back a laugh. “Sorry, sorry.” As Nakamoto and Shiomi continue to talk, I turn my attention to Nakata, who stares at me “Nakata, can…” “Ku-chan, let’s talk.” Azama interrupts me before I can ask Nakata anything, and before I can even react to her, she pulled me away from the other three, and I can see Nakata only smirk, though the other two seem sad. She pulled me back into her room, and placed her hands on my shoulders. “Ku-chan, I’m sorry.” I idly look away from her. “From what?” “I couldn’t run to you in my dress.” I just shake my head. “I don’t really care, but...what’s wrong? Why do we need to talk?” She sighs. “Nakamoto told me what happened.” ...he did? Of course he did. “Stay away from her, Ku-chan. We don’t know the full story, yet. I think there’s something she’s not telling us.” “So…?” “Leave Nakata to me, okay? I’m going to find out what’s going on, and I just need you to leave her be until then. Got it?” ...no. No, I don’t get it. But, I won’t get in her way. I won’t get in her way. Looking back on it, I think I understand what she wants. She wants to try and see if Nakata’s hiding anything -- if something happened to her and she’s not telling us. But, what would happen up there to make Nakata hate me unless she already did…? I just don’t get it. ...she hates me. But… “I’m sorry for worrying you.” I go to release Rai from my grasp, but Rai doesn’t let go. “You should be.” ...not everyone does. I find myself touching my lips. I don’t know why Rai kissed me...I think it’s because I worried them again. The last time Rai did so, it was because I was panicking, so maybe Rai just did it because I acted irrationally again. I should apologize. When the morning announcement finally rings, I drag myself out of my bed and after getting dressed, I head to the dining hall. Surprisingly, I’m the first to arrive. The silence is nice, even if it only lasts for a few seconds. I watch as Rai skips into the dining hall, closing the door closed behind them. “I thought I saw you come in.” My face warms as Rai sits moves around the table to sit beside me. “Hi, Rai.” Rai doesn’t speak, instead opting to rest their head on the table in front of them. “Hi.” I’m happy we’re alone. It’s been awhile since we had some time alone, and even yesterday, Tomori dragged me off after Rai let go of me, so we never got to talk. What is Tomori’s problem, anyway? She tried to get herself killed and then after Rai and I kissed, she got all giddy and tried to pry all of these answers I didn’t have out of me. I don’t get her. I brush a strand of hair out of Rai’s face. “Have trouble sleeping?” Rai nods. “I really do have to be the one to initiate everything, don’t I…?” I sigh. “What’s that even supposed to mean?” “I was just talking to myself,” Rai says, gently smiling as they lift their head off from the table. “What I meant to say was, I was up for most of the night waiting for someone to show up, but they never came. I was sitting there in my super cute pj’s and they didn’t come, even after everything I did…” … It’s not like I was invited to Rai’s room, so... “Were you waiting for Azama?” Rai’s entire face freezes in shock. I guess I was right. “You’re really an idiot.” That was all Rai could say as their face hit the table again. I frown as Rai grimaces. “My heart has been wounded, king.” King…? When I start to giggle, Rai can only pout. “What’s so funny?” Rai attempts to look away from me, but I keep on laughing. “I’m sorry, it’s--it’s just, you reminded me of something.” “Of what?” I take a deep breath to collect myself, and Rai turns back to me. “When we first met, you told me about a play you once wrote.” Rai tilts their head. “Which one?” “About the amnesiac king.” It takes a bit for Rai to process it, but when they do, their reaction is priceless. “You remember?!” “I just thought of it,” I say. “When you called me king, just now. That was the first thing you said to me when we met.” “I remember now,” Rai says, and their lips curve into a small smile. “Greenie.” I grimace. That’s what they called me when I couldn’t remember my name. Even after we learned my name was Ken, Mio still called me it... ...oh, Mio. “Please don’t call me that. What if I just started calling you ‘Blondie’?” Rai leans forward. “You wouldn’t dare, boy.” What’s with the random nicknames…?! “I see you two are as lively as ever,” Azama sighs. “At least someone is.” As everyone begins to trickle into the dining hall for the morning meeting, Azama announces that since we had no ideas on how to get out, that we should do another quick scoop around the school, and then she really didn’t care, so long as no one got hurt. And so… ...I was dragged back to the sauna on the second floor by Shiomi and Nakamoto. And when I say dragged, I mean, physically dragged. So now I sit in the sauna in the middle of the two. Nakamoto has his hand clamped on my shoulder, and Shiomi sits way too close for comfort, leaning over me. It’s actually really uncomfortable. Nakamoto’s smile is almost sinister in nature as he leans even closer to me. “Now that we’ve got you here…” Shiomi flicks Nakamoto’s forehead, who winces in response. He turns back to back me and smiles, though his looks eerily similar to Nakamoto. “How did it happen?” “How did what happen?” “You know...it?” I place my hands up defensively. “I don’t know what you mean.” Nakamoto sighs. “About Rai-chi. How’d it happen?!” Oh. “What about Rai?” Nakamoto holds my chin and tilts my head up to look at him. He smiles warmly, and there’s something...seductive about the look in his eyes. It makes my heart race. “A big, blonde, birdy told me about a kiss….” he trails off, and I feel myself squirm at the question. He notices it too, because he slyly smiles in response. “...so it’s true? My little Ken-chi’s all grown up.” “I-I, don’t--” “Nakamoto, you’re making him nervous. This isn’t an interrogation.” Shiomi says that, but he too wears a malicious smile that makes me quiver. Is this supposed to be a good guy, bad guy act? Nakamoto sighs and lets go. “So, what’s even going on between you two?” he asks, biting his lip. “I knew it’d happen, but you don’t seem...happy.” I shake my head. “It’s not that I’m not happy. It’s just…” Shiomi tilts his head. “Unsure?” “Y-Yeah. Rai only kissed me because they were worried about me. Because I was acting out irrationally. Rai just didn’t know how to react.” Shiomi and Nakamoto exchange looks, Shiomi’s eyebrow is raised and Nakamoto looks dejected. “You’re an idiot.” I feel myself shrink. “I didn’t really mean that, Ken.” “I-I know, I just…” The room falls silent as I trail off. Aside from the steam gently filling the room, all I could see was the floor. I am an idiot. A worthless idiot. Shiomi isn’t wrong about that, but...why would Rai do that unless I was acting irrationally? Rai doesn’t like me like that -- no one could. There’s a tension in the air -- it rises with the steam in the sauna, however it dissipates once Nakamoto takes a deep breath and claps his hands together. “Sorry Ken-chi, we didn’t mean to hurt you, we just wanted to hear all the juicy details! C’mon, our boy is growing up.” What’s that even supposed to mean... Shiomi only nods as my eyes land on his face. His smile remains mischievous, though the tiniest bit of pain behind his eyes. “If I had to write a song about your relationship it’d be...Passion in the Face of Despair!” … “Is that a smile I see?” he asks, leaning his head in closer to me. “See? He’s blushing.” “I’m not b-blushing...it’s just...hot in here.” “Ah, is Ken-chi a tsundere?” Nakamoto asks, tilting his head. I only sigh to myself as Nakamoto rises from the bench beside me. He stretches and yawns. “This thing really gets you tired, don’t it?” “You’re leaving?” Shiomi asks. Nakamoto spins back around to face us and nods. “I’m probably going to head to bed early today. Nothing else is really going on.” … He bends down so he’s eye-level with us. “Unless you two wanna do something?” “Why don’t you swing by later?” Shiomi asks. “We can talk then.” Nakamoto gives him a thumbs-up. “See you then.” Nakamoto leaves Shiomi and I alone after that, and we sit in silence for a few moments. Without Nakamoto or Azama, Shiomi’s ten times more reserved, and he inches away from me ever-so slightly. He takes a deep breath and leans back. I follow suit but… “What’s on your mind?” He shakes his head. “Nothing really.” He says that, but his face screams something else entirely. “You just look anxious, Shiomi.” He opens an eye and looks at me. “Why is it you choose now to be perceptive?” “You’re making it easy for me,” I mumble. “At least, you seemed off…” “How so?” What’s a nice way of saying, ‘Remember when your best friend died and you were unresponsive? You’ve been reminding me of that you’? “You don’t have to say, I think I get it,” he says, sighing. I nod, and we sit in silence for a minute or two, until... “I just feel so out of the loop all the time,” he finally says. “It’s just...whenever something happens I feel like I’m always the last one to know. I’m just an afterthought in all this.” He sighs, and continues. “It’s like I’m a secondary character in some shitty game -- meant to do nothing but fill up space and be in the dark.” “You have to understand -- you have Kitoaji and Yuka. Tomori and Satoshi have always been friendly too, and, the five of you have gotten especially close lately, but...where does that leave the rest of us? Nakata and Azama are both really smart, so they’re found ways to cope and get over everything that’s going on, but I--I’m not strong like that. I have no one left. Tani left me and I’m haunted by it everyday. There’s--There’s always a reminder of her. When I pass her door every morning, when I look through those stupid videos she recorded…” I find my voice shaking when I respond. “What about Nakamoto? Azama? Me?” “Azama’s been so angry with me lately that we barely talk. When we do, she reminds me of those stupid mistakes I made during the class trial -- I don’t get it. In the first trial she was so ready to point her fingers at you and Kitoaji, and in the second trial she tried fucking us over and voting for Sasada -- now she’s acting like she’s better than me? I made mistakes -- I get it. I do. But the way she’s been treating me…” He scoffs and shakes his head. “...we have to make it out of here, Ken. Nakamoto won’t listen to me anymore, and you’re too busy to pay me any mind. This is just something I gotta figure out by myself, right?” … That’s how you really feel, Shiomi? “No, of course not. We’re in this together, Shiomi, and--” I’m cutoff when the door to the sauna opens, and, a certain blonde trots into the sauna, with a towel wrapped around her body, and a certain hazel-eyed girl following her. Azama walks with her hands on her hips, and I can feel Shiomi tense up beside me. He inches back over to me as Azama sits on the bench in front of us, and she crosses her legs. Nakata sits beside her, and I tense up as well, and even I find myself scurrying closer to Shiomi until we’re practically sitting on top each other. “You two have gotten close,” Azama says, brushing her hair behind her ears. To be honest, this might be the first time I see her without her hair up in a ponytail, and...it’s kinda cute. Kinda weird, but, kinda cute. Shiomi is unamused by her, though. “How long were you listening?” “Long enough. I had ran into Nakamoto on the way over here, and we figured no one would be here anymore, I was mistaken however. Good thing, too.” “Would you like to talk about it?” “Not really,” Shiomi says, sighing to himself. She crosses her arms, and I find myself glancing at Nakata, whose eyes never leave Shiomi. It’s still...awkward. “We need to discuss this eventually,” she says. “All of us.” “He’s not going to stop until we’re all dead,” Nakata says, her voice as calm as ever. “The least we can do is put up a cohesive front.” I find myself shaking my head. That’s rich coming from her -- she broke my heart live in front of MonoMech’s cameras. And now she wants us to be all together? “What’s wrong, Ku-chan? Don’t like it?” “I can try.” Shiomi leans forward. “He’s someone who wears his heart on his sleeve, Azama. It’s not easy for him to lie, and hear you are, pressuring him into something you know he can’t do.” “Shiomi, it’s fine--” He places a finger over my lip. “No, it’s not. They’ve been treating you like a child for so long, and now they’re telling you to suck it up, even though they’re the ones who did this to you.” “And what do you know about what’s going on?” Nakata asks. “You just said it yourself, you’re out of the loop. I’ll be honest, I don’t care for these formalities or your delusions of grandeur. We just need to act like we’re all in this together.” “And what do you mean by that? Delusions of grandeur? Because I recognize how you’ve been treating him? How tense he gets when you approach?” “P-Please…” My pleas go unnoticed as Shiomi continues. “And for me -- I know I’m out of the loop. I know none of you care for me and you look at me like I’m some obstacle, that I’m just going to be another victim in all this, but fuck you. I’m not doing this for you anymore.” “Oh, really?” Nakata asks, and even I can see Azama’s uncomfortableness with the ongoing situation. I figured she’d have expected this, but maybe she really just didn’t consider Shiomi’s feelings in all this. “Really. I’m only cooperating for Kitoaji and Ken. When I was down and out -- when I was lost, they came to me. They reached out to me. You two were nowhere to be found. Sasada was avoiding me, Nakamoto could’ve cared less. But they stuck by me. So fuck you both and your self-righteous crap.” “Shiomi, that’s not what--” Shiomi cuts Azama off. “Both of you think you’re smart, strong, but being fake isn’t going to get us out of this situation. If you really wanna get out of here -- all of us -- then cut the shit. We need to work together to beat MonoMech, not hide behind this false sense of unity.” “Then let’s talk about it. The four of us, right here, right now.” “We shouldn’t talk about this without the others,” I say, and Shiomi nods from beside me. “They deserve to be included.” Shiomi forces a smile at me. “Yes, thank you Ken. We should talk in the changing room where there’s no camera.” “We can let everything out there,” Azama says, though there’s bitterness in her voice. “If that’s what you two want, we can do it.” Nakata rises from her seat. “I’m in no mood to do it now, though. Shall we do it later?” “Sure,” Shiomi says, also rising. “I’ll let the others know, too.” With that, Nakata and Shiomi leave the sauna, and Azama rises to leave too. “You’re staying, Ku-chan?” … Part of me felt like I should go see if Shiomi was alright, but he looked as if he’d rather be alone. “Y-Yeah, I just need time to think…” She shrugs her shoulders and sits back down in front of me. “Me too.” I lean back against the wall behind me, and I close my eyes. The heat of the sauna rises, and I quickly find myself dozing off. “Ku-chan. Kuuuuuu-chan.” I open one of my eyes and see Azama staring at me. “It’s not really safe to fall asleep in here, ya know?” “It’s not?” She sighs. “I don’t think so.” She leans forward and puts her face in her hands. “Do you wanna talk about it, Azama?” Azama shakes her head. “I just didn’t know he felt that way. I’ve been kinda hard on him lately, but, we’ll talk about it later. Let’s just sit in silence, if that’s cool?” “Of course.” So, we sat in silence for a while, getting lost in our thoughts and in the comfort of the sauna. But when Azama abruptly stood up and left, I decided it was probably time to probably go, too. Being in there for so long makes me tired, so I might as well go do...something. So after changing back into my clothes, I find myself on the floor of my own room, staring at the faces of Rai Kitoaji and Yuka Kihara, who lean over me. “What’s this meeting about?” Rai asks. “Isa-chan is being really sketchy about it! He wouldn’t tell us why we had to go!” “It’s going to be okay.” Rai bites their lower lip. “No one said anything like that, though.” I wince. “I’m sorry--I’m a little tired.” “And you’re all sweaty!” Yuka exclaims, poking my arm. “Did you go playing without us?” “Sorry about that. We can go together next time.” Yuka only pouts as Rai leaves my view and I hear them jump on my bed. “And weren’t you two not talking?” Yuka nods her head. “For, like, a minute! But Rai-chan said it was because Rai-chan kissed you and was worried I’d be mad!” I hear Rai hiss from the bed. “Don’t tell him that, Yuka.” “I don’t get what I’d be mad about though,” Yuka pouts once more, and I turn my head to face Rai, who hugs one of my pillows. “Why am I being left out.” Being left out…? “I just feel so out of the loop all the time. It’s just...whenever something happens I feel like I’m always the last one to know. I’m just an afterthought in all this.” That’s how Shiomi feels, and it’s been eating him up. I don’t want Yuka to feel the same way as he does. Yuka slaps down gently on my chest. “C’mon! Coddle me! Please--” Yuka’s cut off as a pillow hits her in the face. Yuka falls to the floor next to me with a thud, and I turn back to Rai who smiles mischievously. “I’ve been killed, Big Brother Ken…” I fake sob, turning away from Yuka. “I’ll avenge you, Yuka.” She grunts, and I steadily rise to my feet. I turn to face Rai, who only stares at me with that same, wide smirk. “Villain...you killed my bestie.” Rai giggles and grabs the pillow next to them, and with one fluid motion throws it at me. It comes at me slowly, and I catch it and throw it back. Rai dodges it, but the pillow flies out of reach. Rai jumps on their knees, but I’m too quick. I grab Rai by the wrist and throw them to the mattress; it was a move Nakata used on me when we would spar. I pin Rai underneath me so our faces are only inches away. “I win.” “I forgot how fast you were,” Rai says, with the slightest trace of a smile still on their face. “You’re just slow.” I let go of Rai and roll over next to them, and Yuka soon joins us on the bed, wrapping herself up in a blanket. “What should we do?” I look at the clock -- we still have a long while until the nighttime announcement goes off and Shiomi’s meeting will begin. “I’ll do whatever you guys want,” I mumble. “Can I just, like, shower first? I smell.” I really wanted to nap before this meeting, though. Would it be mean to lock them out and take a quick ten, twenty minute nap? Maybe an hour? Oooh, maybe until the nighttime announcement?? Yuka tilts her head. “What’s with the suspicious look, Big Brother Ken?” “O-Oh, nothing. No reason.” Rai squints their eyes. “We’ll wait riiiight here then, if you don’t mind.” … “What, why?” Rai leans back in to me. “I see right through your games, boy.” “Back with that nickname--?!” Rai giggles and turns over to Yuka, who watches us hesitantly. Her face is steady, and she bites her lower lip. However, when Rai and Yuka lock eyes, Yuka’s smile brightens. “Rai-chan, what should we do since he’s gonna take sooooo long?!” ...she changed face quickly so quickly. With the mental image of Yuka’s hesitant face on my mind, I left the two to shower. I wonder what that was about…? “Obinata-kun~!” Obinata stops dead in his tracks and sighs loudly. He does this everytime I approach him though, so it doesn’t bother me. He acts like he doesn’t like when it when I pay him attention, but he’s super transparent now. “What is it, Kijmuta?” He looks down at me, and I lean into his side to greet him. “Where are you going?” He pushes his glasses up the bridge of his nose. “Does it matter?” “Yessir.” “And why?” He gently moves away from me and I feel myself frown. “You know why.” He looks away from me, and his shoulders slouch ever-so-slightly. “I can take care of myself, Kijmuta.” “I know,” I say, moving in front of him. I look at him, and try to make myself as close in height to him as possible, which he responds to by giving me a faint smile. “I know you can, but...Sasada’s gone. I’m not going to let you go out by yourself and get hurt.” He’s silent for a moment and gently places his hands on my shoulders. “What am I gonna do with you, Kijmuta? You’re too much.” He spins me around and I smile triumphantly. “You love me, Obinata-kun! Don’t lie.” He doesn’t respond to that, and as the two of us begin to trot down the hallways, a voice calls out from behind us. “G-Guys--!” Obinata and I simultaneously spin around to greet the voice, but I’ve already been pulled to the floor. “It’s blue--!” “Shimazaki, what is the issue? What about Tani?” Mi-chan looks down at me, she grips the collar of my shirt, and her hands are shaking. “Tani, Shiomi, too--they took them!” “What?” Obinata asks. He’s seething at the teeth. “They’re gone--they’re gone!” she exclaims, shaking me as she does so. “Just like Sasada--! They took them!” “What do you mean?” I ask. “They took them--they’ve gone missing?” “They’re not missing, baby Ken. They took them, blondie saw it! Blondie and pink saw it--!” “Who took them?” Obinata asks. Mi-chan looks away from the two of us and coughs. “They don’t know! They just heard the scuffle and then scarf and blue were GONE! There was some blood, too, I saw that!” Obinata grits his teeth. “They’ve come here?” “And they must know something about us,” I mumble. “We’re in too much spotlight here at Hope’s Peak.” “Our talents -- most of our lives are in the public view. We have forums dedicated to us. No wonder they attacked a gardener, a songwriter, and a beatboxer. They’re trying to whittle us down.” Obinata just shakes his head. “But *who*? And *why*?!” I sigh. “We can’t even go public with this, either. Kizakura-sensei wants us to keep it under wraps and the school is gonna investigate themselves. We don’t know what they want -- all we’ve got is Nakata and Izumi looking into it.” “And those two have done so much,” Obinata says sarcastically. “The three of us could do something about this -- you do realize that, right?” “Oh, I’m SO in!” Mi-chan exclaims, and she turns her attention back to me with her big, gleaming eyes. “Let’s do it, baby Ken!” I feel myself squirm under Mi-chan, but she stays firm. If it’s true that someone is kidnapping members of my class, if it’s true that the school will do nothing about it...then we’ll have to do something ourselves. “I’m in.” Obinata nods. “Good. This stays between us three though -- got it? You know how the others would react.” I don’t like keeping things from others, but...it’s for their safety. We can do this. We can do this ourselves. Category:Anguish & Desire Category:Anguish & Desire Chapters